When one or both parties in a relationship lose a significant amount of weight, it can change the dynamics of the relationship – for better or for worse.

People that I work with in a weightloss setting sometimes comment that I am lucky to be thin. It happened again last week in one of the Lifestyle Support Groups that I facilitate. It’s interesting to reflect on the assumptions underlying such a comment, as well as on the implications for the person making them.

In any sphere of life, when you ask people what their goals are, they will typically present you with a list of what we call outcome goals. These are goals that are determined by a combination of factors that are both under their control, and some factors that are not. Examples of outcome goals include passing an exam, finding the perfect relationship, or getting someone’s approval. Weightloss is another example.